Stepping Back Isn’t Weakness

Why letting go can be an act of survival

By Sieun Bok

3 minutes

When I was little, I thought I was fearless until the day I faced the ultimate swing set. My friends soared like superheroes while I froze, gripping the chains like they were ropes tied to my life. My brain said, “You can do this!” but my body said, “Nope.” So I let go, midair, straight into the sandbox. Face first.

I remember lying there, half-buried in sand, heart pounding, cheeks burning with embarrassment. I wasn’t hurt, but I was shaken. What surprised me wasn’t the fall; it was the relief that followed. Letting go felt like failure in front of my friends, but in that moment, it was also the only way my body knew how to protect itself. I didn’t have the words for it then, but that moment sparked a realization. Stepping back doesn’t always mean giving up. Often, it can be a necessary act of survival. 

From a young age, we are taught that avoiding confrontation or failure is unacceptable. Children are scolded for mistakes, punished for missteps, or pressured to perform perfectly in school. According to a 2018 study published in ScienceDaily, “Children of Highly Critical Parents May Struggle With Emotional Processing,” children exposed to high criticism develop anxiety and a fear of failure, making them hesitant to step back when needed. This deeply embedded fear teaches us that slowing down or redirecting is inherently bad. Rather than viewing rest as a strategy for growth, society frames it as personal inadequacy, leaving many people ashamed of acknowledging their limits. 

As we grow, societal standards only intensify. Academic competition, career demands, and social comparison push people to maintain a flawless image at all times. In this environment, relentless expectations become the predator, while individuals are cast as prey, chased by judgement, comparison, and impossible standards. According to a 2023 survey by the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, over 60% of young adults report chronic stress due to unrealistic expectations from school, work, and societal comparison. When combined with workplace pressure, the consequences can become severe: the World Health Organization reports that burnout affects over a quarter of the global workforce and is often linked to chronic overload and insufficient recovery time. When stepping back is framed as weakness, people are less likely to use it as a coping strategy, pushing them instead toward overwork and, eventually, burnout.

It is time to redefine what we call cowardice. Stepping back should not mean avoidance or irresponsibility; it should mean self-awareness. Taking a break, changing direction, or choosing not to do everything at once is an act of prioritization, not failure. Schools, workplaces, and society at large must normalize breaks, encourage supportive conversations, and recognize that temporary retreat can lead to long-term growth. We can model healthy stepping back, showing how it fosters resilience, prevents burnout, and ultimately enables a stronger comeback. If we embrace the idea that retreat is sometimes the most courageous act, we can foster more healthy, creative, and resilient communities.

Perhaps my younger self was onto something. That day in the sandbox, letting go of the swing felt like failure but it was survival. Life can feel like a giant playground sometimes, too fast, too high, too chaotic. However, we don’t have to tackle it all at once. Sometimes, the bravest move is stepping back, catching our breath, and trusting ourselves to return stronger. Courage isn’t always a leap forward. Sometimes, it’s letting go… just long enough to swing higher next time.